


Signed, Future Kylo

by radioactivesaltghoul



Series: hux, you ignorant slut! [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canon Compliant, Dry Humping, F/M, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Prankster Rey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-09-25 11:24:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17120462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radioactivesaltghoul/pseuds/radioactivesaltghoul
Summary: It was just supposed to be some low-key spying, but once Rey realized that she could leave things for Kylo through the Force bond, how could she let the opportunity to let out her inner prankster go?What she didn’t expect, though, was that he would confront her about it.





	Signed, Future Kylo

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nervoustouch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nervoustouch/gifts).



> Thank you so much to reneemm for beta'ing this and making it so much better than it was before. All remaining mistakes are mine. And thank you to RFFA mods for putting together this exchange!
> 
> Prompt: “I'm thinking Rey abuses the Force bond to spy on Ren. He can't control her and she knows it.” You also mentioned that The Office (US version) is your favorite TV show, so...this happened.

Rey was pretty sure that this wasn’t what Snoke (may he rest in kriffing pieces) had in mind when he created the Force bond between her and Kylo, but...well, one of her talents _was_ appropriating things for other uses than their original one.

She told herself that she was just doing her part as a dutiful member of the Resistance by keeping an eye on the new Supreme Leader of the First Order in a manner that only she could. If she had to be stuck with this weird Force bond that she never asked for, she reasoned, she may as well take advantage of the situation as best as she could.

If she was being honest, the real reason she started doing it was because spying on Kylo Ren was like watching a speeder wreck in slow motion. An occasionally shirtless speeder wreck in slow motion.

For a while after Crait, she’d kept her end of the bond shut as tightly as possible. She didn’t want to see Kylo again. He had made his choice, and she had made hers. She didn’t even know if he was trying to break through. But then during yet another “Where do we go from here?” meeting with what was left of the Resistance, it occurred to her: why not use this to her advantage? Sure, no one else knew she was doing it, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t make this blasted thing useful.

“Leadership in the First Order has been unstable since Snoke’s death and the battle on Crait,” Rey blurted out one day during another meeting.

“How do you know that?” someone asked.

_During a meeting of the senior leadership of the First Order, Hux said “As Assistant Supreme Leader, I think we should—”_  

_“Assistant_ to _the Supreme Leader,” Kylo corrected. Rey had to stifle her laughter. This wasn’t the first time she’d observed this particular exchange between Hux and Kylo._

“I just do,” she said. “It’s a Jedi thing.” She thought she saw Leia give her a suspicious look, but nobody said anything. Any intel they could get on the First Order was desperately needed, and nobody knew enough about the Force to question Rey.

Then Rey had the brilliant idea to up the ante after a night off with Finn and Poe.

"You'll never believe what Poe did during the evacuation from Crait," Finn said as they ate dinner in one of the Ewoks’ treehouses. (The Resistance had finally decided to make their way to the forest moon of Endor. Leia’s reasoning for why this was their best move was “It’s so obvious that they’d never think we’d actually go for it.” Nobody could find a good argument against that.) "I was unconscious so I only heard it secondhand, but—"

"It's not that interesting, really," Poe said, smiling down at his bowl of soup. "I was just trying to distract the First Order so that the rest of the Resistance could flee D'Qar before they could attack. It was sheer luck that made it work."

"Made what work?" Rey asked. She didn't know Poe that well, but anyone with the balls to stand up to the First Order had to be someone worth knowing, right?

"He went up in his little X-wing with BB-8 desperately trying to hold it together—"

"Hey!" Poe protested. "We were _not_ desperately trying to hold it together."

BB-8 chirped that it agreed with Finn and that Poe should be grateful that it had more personality than most BB droids. 

"Anyway," Finn said. "There he was, positioned in this little X-wing in front of all of these Star Destroyers, and he _taunted_ General Hux."

"Taunted him how?" Rey asked.

"I made fun of his name, and then I made fun of his mother," Poe said. "It was a terrible idea, but at the time it was hilarious. I kept asking for General Hugs, and it made him _so mad_ when he realized that I was trying to make fun of him."

"Really," Rey said, a plan already forming in her mind.

Rey had never really been much of a prankster, but she had a few ideas for how to mess with Kylo. After all, he never acknowledged that she was there when she was spying on him. Maybe he had no idea (although Rey couldn't see how that was possible—there was no mistaking the sensation of a sudden Force bond connection). It wasn’t like he didn’t deserve it, after everything he’d done on Crait.

The pranks started off small. She discovered with glee that she was able to transport things over the Force bond, even though she could never really see Kylo's surroundings. So she started moving the furniture around in his quarters just a centimeter or two every time a Force bond session snapped into place. Not enough that he’d notice it right away, until the day that a Force bond session opened to the sight of him staring at his desk, trying to figure out how it had ended up in the corner of his office. She'd broken the connection just in time. It was so funny that she couldn't contain her laughter, and she was grateful that no one else was around when she did. It would have been awkward to explain why she was laughing so hard.

The next one she tried was similar in nature. The Ewoks remembered Leia fondly and were more than happy to share their food and culture with the Resistance. There was a particular snack that they made that most of the Resistance found oddly unnerving. It was a sweet, brightly-colored gel-like substance that made Rey giggle with the way it wiggled on the plate. Seeing as she was the only human who could stomach the stuff (come on, she'd eaten _way_ worse on Jakku), a couple of Ewoks were delighted to teach her how to make it. Even though Rey was good with languages, she couldn't quite understand the Ewoks' language, and she wasn't quite sure that she made the food correctly. But it gave her another idea, thus beginning round two of Kylo Pranks:

She began stealing his things and cooking them into the _jell-o_ (the Ewoks' name for the food).

It was even funnier than the first prank to watch how confused Kylo was to find his commlink immersed in the colorful gel on his desk. "What the kriff?" he muttered to himself. "How in the hell did Endorian cuisine end up here? If this is some sort of assassination attempt from Hux, I swear to the Force, I will actually kill him this time."

Rey could barely keep it together. It wasn’t until later that she realized she’d accidentally given him a clue as to where the Resistance was currently located, but by then, they were moving on to Pamarthe. In any case, there was no sign that the First Order had any indication of where to look, so she figured they were safe.

Either Kylo didn’t know it was her or he didn’t care about finding the Resistance, so Rey tried again a week later with his datapad. And then with his collection of strange writing utensils. She wanted to steal his lightsaber and put that in _jell-o_ as well, but he always had it on him (he even slept with it under his pillow—not that she _liked_ watching him sleep, even though it was such a rare sight that she felt oddly relieved to know that he was taking some time to rest in between all of the stress and drama of trying to maintain control of a gigantic fascist organization that he didn't even like all that much). She wasn't committed enough to the prank to try to steal it off his belt when he wasn't looking, and anyway, it wasn't fair to leave him defenseless against the growing threat of First Order tensions. He deserved all of the pranks that Rey was giving him (and more), but that didn't mean he deserved to _die_.

The best prank, though, was the third one. It was so good, in fact, that Rey debated telling someone about the Force Bond, just so that she had someone to laugh about it with.

Over time, she'd come to realize that Kylo's weird fixation with writing things out by hand was an ancient art called calligraphy. Rey found herself fascinated by it. It was similar to the drawings she used to do in her journal back on Jakku, and it made her slightly uncomfortable to realize that she and Kylo shared an unusual interest in that sort of thing. But she understood it, sort of, and the weird muscle memory that she had for lightsaber forms that she'd accidentally pulled out of his mind also included his muscle memory for calligraphy.

So, Rey started writing him notes from Future Kylo.

_Kylo: at 0837 standard time, someone will poison the kaf. Do not drink the kaf. Repeat: DO NOT DRINK THE KAF. Signed, Future Kylo._

Rey was lucky enough to catch him throwing an entire industrial-sized kaf maker into the wall, destroying half of the lounge where the First Order leadership held most of their meetings. He almost looked happy about it, like he was relieved to have an excuse to destroy First Order equipment.

_Kylo: at 2200 standard time, Hux will start the first meeting of the new First Order Fight Club in his private quarters. You must interrupt him at all costs. Signed, Future Kylo._

She didn’t see Kylo’s initial reaction to this one, but she did notice that he was wearing a rather haunted expression for days afterwards. She caught him muttering the words “He’s ginger _everywhere_ ,” leading her to feel grateful that she’d missed that one.

_Kylo: at 1357 standard time, the sanitation crew will attempt to start a flashmob in Dining Hall BX782. Stop them in any way possible. It’s a waste of company time and resources. Signed, Future Kylo._

Surprisingly, there actually _was_ a flashmob in Dining Hall BX782 that day. Rey hadn’t even been sure that Dining Hall BX782 actually existed on whatever ship the First Order had claimed as their flagship; she’d only heard Finn mention it in passing once while telling a story about life in the stormtrooper barracks.

But after a while, it started to become boring. What was the point in taunting Kylo if he wasn’t even going to respond to it? And anyway, it looked like he had enough on his plate. Every time Rey saw him (which was more often than she cared to admit), he somehow managed to look even paler and the circles under his eyes looked even darker. His insomnia was getting so bad that it was keeping _her_ awake at night.

_Oh,_ hell _no. He can’t keep ignoring me like that!_

So Rey upped the ante. She left more notes. She stole more things to put in _jell-o._ She tried every possible trick and prank she could conceive of. She even considered asking Poe for help, but that would involve having to reveal _why_ she was asking for ideas for pranks, and she wanted to keep this to herself still. So she suffered in silence, frustrated by the fact that no matter what she did, she couldn’t catch his attention.

Until the day that she finally, _finally_ broke him.

“That’s _ENOUGH ALREADY!_ ” Kylo roared as advanced on Rey. She stepped back until she felt her back hit the wall behind her. There must have been a wall that she was trapped against in whatever room he was in as well, because he didn’t stop moving until he was all but pinning her against the wall, his hands braced on either side of her head. She had a vague thought that she should probably have been scared, but she wasn’t. If anything, she was... _excited_ by this. There was a weird thrill she got now that she knew she had his attention. If she couldn’t stop thinking about him, then it was only fair that he should be unable to stop thinking about her, too.

“Enough with the notes and the weird food pranks,” he said. Rey knew that they could touch across the Force bond, but was it also possible that she could feel the heat radiating from his body across the bond as well? Or was that just the result of the way her blood seemed to boil around him? “I know it’s you. It’s always you. Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

_That_ startled her. He’d...known all along? And he hadn’t said anything? “Why don’t you just make me?” she said. “Surely the Supreme Leader of the First Order has the resources to hunt down a lowly scavenger from Jakku.”

“I swear to _fuck_ I will actually kill you,” he growled.

Rey couldn’t keep a smirk from appearing on her face. Oh, she _liked_ him like this. All riled up and unable to do anything about it. “Sure you will,” she said. “Maybe you should—” Whatever else she was about to say got lost as he captured her lips with his.

Not that Rey had a lot of experience with kissing, but she was pretty sure that it normally wasn’t so violent. It was almost like he’d gotten so frustrated that he didn’t know what else to do other than mash his lips against hers. And to her surprise, she liked it so much that she made a small noise of protest as he pulled away as suddenly as he’d moved to kiss her.

She didn’t know who was more shocked: her or Kylo. Rey had no idea how long they stood there, totally frozen in place. Kylo was the first one to break the spell as he opened his mouth to say “I—” but Rey found that she really didn’t give a flying fuck about whatever it was that he was about to say. Before he could pull away any further, she grabbed his face and pulled him in for another kiss that was just as violent and exciting and satisfying as the first. She was barely aware of the way she was pressing her body against his, like she was trying to physically occupy the same space as him.

The kiss was a mess of lips, teeth, and tongue, and Rey felt an unfamiliar _throb_ through her core at the noise of protest he made when she pulled her lips away to attack his neck. “You—fuck, what are you— _oh,_ ” he gasped as she bit the sensitive skin of his neck and sucked hard enough to leave a mark.

Because yes, she _wanted_ to leave a mark. He was _hers._ That was one thing she’d learned early on: mark what is yours and don’t let anyone else steal it. She didn’t realize how loudly she was thinking that until he said, “The scar you left on my face wasn’t enough for you?”

Rather than answer in words, she held his gaze in silence for a moment before tracing the tip of her tongue along the scar from his collarbone up to his cheek. He shivered, then said, “Point taken. _Fuck_ , Rey. You’re going to kill me.”

“Just as long as no one else gets to you first,” she whispered before capturing his lips with hers again.

If she’d thought that the bond was like touching a live wire that night on Ahch-To, it was like having an entire electrical storm running through her veins now. She almost expected to see literal sparks flying as she wrapped her arms around his neck and tangled her fingers in his hair like she’d wanted to do for a while, she realized suddenly. She didn’t notice that Kylo had picked her up until she felt her back press up against the cool, rough wall of the ship that’s storage space she was in, her legs wrapping around his waist automatically.

This opened up a whole new set of sensations for Rey, who found herself shifting and grinding against Kylo, searching for a way to relieve the pressure that was building in her core. Rey had plenty of experience getting herself off (there had been a _lot_ of cold, lonely nights on Jakku), but this was something else.

It was the way it felt to tangle her hands in his hair. The way he caught her bottom lip between his teeth before returning the favor and leaving marks of his own on her neck. The way he groaned and said her name like it was the answer to a question he’d been asking for a long, long time. The way he was holding her up, pinned against the wall and grinding against her in _just_ the perfect way that had her panting, struggling to hold back a moan in case someone decided to investigate the noises coming from the storage space.

“Do you have any idea,” he growled in her ear, “the things you do to me? The things you make me want? I think I’m going crazy because you’re _always there_ and I can’t tell anymore if I’m imagining you or not.

“So tell me,” she gasped. “What do you want to do to me?” Stars, she loved seeing him like this. The powerful Supreme Leader of the First Order, losing his mind over _her_ , of all people. It made her feel so powerful to know that she had this over him and _fuck,_ she wanted all of it and more. 

“I want to know the taste of your skin, and the way you feel pressed against me like this,” he whispered, his breath tickling her ear. “I want to see your face as you fall apart. I want to know how it sounds when you say my name when you realize that no one gets you like I do.”

“Fuck, Kylo,” she said. If she hadn’t been so lost in the way she was grinding against him, trying to get more of what she needed, she would have been embarrassed by the way the words came out in a whine.

“No,” he said. “My real name.”

“Ben,” she whispered.

“Fuck _,_ Rey, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted this. How much I’ve dreamed about this.”

“I know,” she said. “So have I. I—fuck, Ben, don’t stop doing that.” She was close now. He was, too. She could feel it in the Force bond and see it in the way he pressed his forehead against hers before pulling her in for another violent kiss. 

“Does it get you off to know that you’re the only one who does this to me?”

The words _you’re the only one_ were the one that finally undid her, fire exploding through her veins as she pulled dug her fingernails into his back. She clasped a hand over her mouth, trying to muffle the sounds she was making. A minute later, she felt him shudder against her, cursing and moaning her name in her ear as he came.

She unhooked her legs shakily and he let her down, running his hands along the curves of her ass to rest on her lower back. A moment later, the connection broke, and she slumped down against the wall alone, still panting.

_Well. Fuck._

 

* * *

 

Kylo had almost convinced himself that the, uh, _encounter_ he’d had with Rey two days ago was just a hallucination brought on by stress. He spent half of his time these days jumping at shadows, convinced that everyone he’d ever killed was going to come back and haunt him Force ghost-style. The other half he spent watching his back, because Hux was plotting against him. He didn’t have to be able to read minds to know that. (The ginger bastard was less subtle than he realized.)

The pranks, however...well, it made sense that they were all Rey’s doing. He’d never admit it, but he liked the attention. It was reassuring to think that she still cared enough about him to tease him like that. It was even more reassuring to think she was doing it because she was wanted him as badly as he wanted her.

But then again, he was probably hallucinating the whole thing anyway. At least, that’s what he thought until he spotted a piece of paper on his desk that hadn’t been there when he’d left for a meeting earlier. He didn’t know how she’d been able to forge his own handwriting so well, but the message was unmistakably Rey’s doing:

_Kylo: at 2343 standard time tonight, a scavenger will make her way into your bed. Do not leave her unsatisfied. Signed, Future Kylo._

He snorted. “All right, Rey,” he said to the empty room around him. “Challenge accepted.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I can't take credit for any of those pranks. They're straight from [The Office (US version)](https://www.buzzfeed.com/genamourbarrett/23-of-the-most-amazing-pranks-jim-pulled-on-dwight-in-the-of).


End file.
